Day 7 in the hospital!

It looks like we will be here at least another night. Payton is bordering on needing transfusions for both red blood cells and platelets; so Dr. Bowman thought it would be wise to stay another night. He’s not transfusing today, since he wants to see if Payton’s counts will go up on their own. He would also like Payton to have an ANC of at least 200 and it was 130 today. It really stinks, but we have to do what’s best for Payton. Hopefully, tomorrow will be the day, since we are really sick of this place, and it would be nice to be home for the weekend.

Payton seems to be getting better every day. He is still a helpful little boy. I was changing his sheets on his bed this morning, and he said “I want to help mom make my bed.” I don’t think Payton even remembers what it was like to have a normal life. I sometimes think he believes life is about, having owies, being poked, extended hospital stays, clinic visits and being in bed all day. I want him to experience a different life than this craziness we have been living the past year.

Yesterday, Dr. Bowman was talking about Payton’s last chemo round. I couldn’t believe we were actually having the conversation, I never thought I’d see the day. He talked about how usually they go in and surgically remove the port just as soon as counts are up from the last round, but he said that because Payton has been on such a high regimen, he thought it would be wise to wait about 3 months before removing. It sounds like once Payton’s done with his last round of chemo, and counts are up, they will go in and do a CT scan. CT scans will continue every 3 months for the first 2 years and every 6 months after. As long as Payton’s port is in, he will need to go in every three weeks to be accessed, and have his port flushed.

Payton will continue to have tests run for his kidney, heart, and hearing to make sure that the radiation and chemo haven’t caused any long term side effects. We will still have a road ahead of us, but I will take that over extended stays in the hospital, chemo, and radiation any day. We are really excited to be done and yet, really nervous as well. I have faith and I know that it is in the Lord’s hands since we have done everything we can do, and it is now out of our control, but this is my son and I can’t help but worry. I will feel really fortunate if we get through this without it ever relapsing and no long term side effects. I often wonder if Payton will get the opportunity to go on and live a happy healthy life, I think about how bad I want to see him go to school, go on a mission, get married and have kids. I know we were told that Payton might not be able to have kids after the radiation he received, but we will leave this in the Lord’s hands. We all want this for our children, but I pray every day that I will get to see him do these things.

Payton you are the bravest little boy that I know. You have endured more than anyone in your family has. We are proud of you. I love that you have a fight in you. You have made it through nine rounds and only have one more to go. We will always have a close friendship and relationship because of what we have endured together. I have a bond with you that I am so grateful for. I am so proud of you and thankful everyday that I have two wonderful kids.