Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Back to the hospital to finish our final round!

I’m warning you to read this at your own risk. Have you ever had a really bad day? One that you just wanted to hit or kick something to get all of your frustrations out? We’ll I had one of those days. And I actually needed to take my frustrations out on something; I was outside and saw my fountain drink and decided to kick it as hard as I could, it actually felt really good. The hospital had just called and informed me to bring Payton back to the hospital within an hour. I was outside playing with Payton while he was watching all the neighbor kids play outdoors. I informed him that we had to get in the car and leave. Payton started to scream and fight me and told me he wanted to stay home and play. As I was trying to get Payton’s jacket on him, he continued fighting me and went to run off and did a head dive into the pavement of the driveway. Payton’s face and mouth started bleeding and he started to scream. I cleaned him up as best as I could while he screamed how bad it was hurting him. We decided we better get headed since we were running late. Payton was crying in the back, the most heart wrenching cry that he wanted to go home. I started asking the Lord; why on earth would you do this to this little boy? Why are all these little kids outside and able to play and he has to go to the hospital and get poked and have nasty chemo put into his little body. Why, why did this happen to my baby? I cried the whole way here and knew that I had to let it out. Maybe I have been keeping it in a little too long. When we arrived to the hospital the nurses must have noticed my red face from crying, because they all smiled and greeted me. It’s amazing the people that we have met here and the great nurses that have been placed into our lives. They all immediately made me feel better. So here we are back again. We will probably get out pretty late tomorrow since they have to hydrate him for several hours before starting chemo. I am so glad this is our last round. I’m honestly not sure how much more I and my family can take. Payton is doing well considering, his face looks pretty beat up and he has a nice fat lip. Sorry for the drama, I just needed to let my frustrations out.







7 comments:

smithfamilyfun said...

Hope tomorrow is a better day! We are thinking about you guys and love you! Good Luck Payton!

Rochelleht said...

I'm so glad it is almost over! My friend had her last round of chemo yesterday, too.

I think it is necessary to just vent and let it out sometimes. I hope you're feeling better. I am soo soo glad this is almost over for you guys. It has certainly been a long road. You're in our prayers, as always.

Jennifer Crawford said...

By tonight you will be cheering on your way out of the hospital! Hang in there- you have been so tough and I'm surprised you haven't lost it before now! I can't wait for Payton and Ella to be playing again- we had so much fun this weekend!

aurora said...

I hope that your fountain drink flew over the house!

You really did need to get it out- it seems that Payton did, too.

I am so very glad that this is your final round. Hang in there!

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Gardners Glad Tidings said...

I have no words. Watching the kids play must have been devasting to him. He will be running with them soon.

And that Diet Dr. Pepper so had it coming - do it more often. You are amazing, hang in there. This chapter of your story will soon be in the past and the future is so bright.

aubs33 said...

I am glad you could get out your frustrations a little! I would have kicked over so many fountain drinks by now. It must have been terrible to drive away from the playing kids. So sorry about that. That big sigh of relief is coming soon. Hang in there girl! We're praying for you all still.