Chad and I were talking about how we should be celebrating, but we are still really nervous now that he is finished with his treatment. The more I read about the potential side effects from these chemo drugs the more nervous I am about having to deal with long term complications from his treatment. It’s not as if I didn’t know of these side effects, but I decided not to focus on them to get through chemo and now it is just hitting me. I know that what we did was necessary for Payton’s survival, but he was hit really hard with all these chemo drugs as Dr. Bowman reminded us. It doesn’t help that Payton’s histology was unfavorable and that makes us even more nervous, because if he were to relapse we know how difficult that would be. Once you have been through something like this, you realize how quickly your world can be turned upside down. I know that we have to have faith and can take comfort knowing that we have done everything possible at this point and whatever is in the Lord’s plan will happen, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not scared. All that we can do is make the best of the time we have together here on earth. Family time will always be much more special now.
Dr. Bowman is such a great guy and we expressed our gratitude and thanks towards him for everything that he has done for Payton. So here we are, can’t believe we made it through this, because there were times I honestly thought that we wouldn’t. We are looking forward to Payton feeling better and will enjoy watching him be a normal boy again.
When we were leaving the clinic, Payton was screaming for a banana. We decided to go to the cafeteria and ended up getting him a banana, corn dog, and strawberry milk (which is his latest favorite thing). Payton had scarfed his entire corn dog down before we could pay for it and all that we had to show the lady checking us out was his stick. It’s amazing what a good eater he is when he gets his appetite back.
3 comments:
Can you believe it? You made it through all the CHEMO! We are definately going to have to throw Payton a big birthday party! 3 Years old should be much better than 2 for him!
I can only imagine your uneasiness. My only thought or suggestion is to go back and read some of your own posts. They are so uplifting and inspiring. Sometimes that is why we record. Not just for others, but for ourselves. You will probably get the strength that you need from yourself. :) love ya' - aurora
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