My Great Family!

Just lying here looking at Payton this morning and counting my blessings. I don’t know what I would ever do without him. He gives me the courage that I need to get through life. What a sweet little guy he is. As Chad and I were walking out of the hospital yesterday, we were talking about what memories we have of Cook’s. We can’t even walk down the hall without seeing somebody that we know. I was telling Chad how exhausted I feel and it’s not the exhausted physical feeling that a good night’s sleep is going to cure; it’s an exhausted emotional feeling that I feel that will take some time to heal. Maybe a long vacation, I’ll have to see? I am so glad to finally get things back to normal, but even happier for Payton. I don’t want to see him cry anymore, get scared anymore, get poked anymore, or be sick anymore. I want to see him go on and be a happy 2 year old boy. I really don’t believe that Payton will remember anything about his 2nd year of life; I think he’s too young. I think that he will remember some of the CT scans and testing, since he will be doing that until he’s 7 years old. What a true blessing that is. I would have it that way. That is why I have been trying to do a better job at recording these memories, so he can look back and know how brave he really was. What a relief this is to have gotten this far. Are we actually finishing this chapter of this of our lives? I really hope so. What is normal anymore? I’m not sure that I will ever look at life the way that I saw it before. Not just because of Payton, but also because of all the kids we have met and become friends with at Cooks. It’s given me a new perspective on life. I have always been one to worry about everything. I’m finding myself not worrying so much about little things, which we have no control over. It makes me look at the bigger picture and I have a different outlook on things. None of us can know how much time we or our children have here, that is largely out of our hands, but what we can do is really enjoy and appreciate the time we get to spend with our loved ones and friends and live each day as best we can.