My Great Family!

I took Payton into the clinic on Friday. I wondered if his counts were getting low since his nose started to bleed on the way there which is usually a sign of low platelets. Payton was not happy going back to the hospital. He told me to send Dr. Bowman to the “naughty spot”. Payton had an ANC of 0, which means that he has nothing to fight off any infections. Payton also needed platelets. About ten minutes after they started Payton’s platelet transfusion; he started coughing, nose and eyes were running, and started in with a little rash down his neck. I immediately called the nurse in and asked if he was having an allergic reaction. She said yes and quickly called in the doctor. They stopped Payton’s transfusion and gave him some Benadryl. Luckily the Benadryl worked and he didn’t need a steroid shot. That was a little scary for me, since he hasn’t had a reaction before. Luckily it was just a short visit since Payton was not running a high grade fever.

In the past, Payton has usually started fevering with a high grade fever by now, and we are usually admitted to the hospital. We are pretty excited, since we might be able to avoid a hospital visit this time. Needles to say, Payton has still been pretty cross at home. I can tell that he is not feeling himself. I am sure that it is due to his counts being low. Payton has been running a low grade fever off and on, but luckily it hasn’t turned into anything more than that. Dr. Bowman said that is pretty normal to run a low grade fever while being so neutrapenic. Payton has spent a lot of time in bed watching Caillou and yelling at Chad and I to get him Coco Puffs, hot noodles, milk, water, juice, and whatever else he is craving in bed. I will take this any day over being in the hospital. I have been a little obsessive about making sure that everyone washes their hand before touching Payton and making sure that everything stays disinfected, since I know that it wouldn’t take much to get him sick with such low counts.

Payton looks a little thinner to me. It was nice having him look so good at Christmas. I feel so sorry for him and what he has to go through. I know that he is not feeling himself. He has also started complaining about his “bum bum hurting” again. However, I don’t think that it will take him long to recover and get back to looking himself once this is over.

The little boy Jullian that we have been keeping up with is not doing well. It looks as if he doesn’t have much longer. This makes me think a lot about Payton and what it would be like if the cancer ever returned. We are all really excited to be done with all this and yet really nervous as well. I am trying to have faith, hope and patience. Patience is not something that I have, but I am working on it. I love Payton so much and my love for him grows stronger every day. He is my little angel and he is so brave. I constantly have questions running through my head; what if we would have found this sooner? Would it have changed his prognosis? What if we still didn’t know? Would the cancer have spread? How would it have changed things? Will this ever return? What will we do if it does? Why did this happen to Payton? Is it because he is so brave? Why does it happen to some kids and not others? Why do some kids make it and some don’t? I drive myself crazy with these questions in my head. This has by far been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. We are trying to stay strong. Thanks so much to everyone that has helped us get this far.