Firetrucks

We went to Baskin Robin’s tonight and they had 2 North Richland Hills Fire Trucks there to honor America’s Firefighters. Payton was thrilled since he loves fire trucks. He got to sit in the front seat and spent some time looking at them. Needless to say, he didn’t want to go and the only way we could convince him to go is to go and get ice cream. It was so neat to see him get so excited.

Payton has had a really good day. He continues to ask where his Grandpa and Grandma went. He has a hard time understanding how people can be here one day and then be gone the next. It just doesn’t seem quite fair. It was a beautiful day and I spent part of the day outside playing with the kids. Payton drove his Jeep around. He is getting better at steering and I got quite a workout chasing him. It feels so good to be able to watch him be himself again.

A fun day at Fossil Rim with Grandpa and Grandma

We had a fun day at Fossil Rim yesterday. It was not busy at all, so it turned out to be a perfect day to go. The weather was beautiful and the kids had a blast with their Grandpa and Grandma. Grandpa and Grandma flew out today and the kids were sad to see them leave. Thanks for everything, we had a great time.

Bluebonnets

I finally got some bluebonnet pictures. It doesn’t seem like there are as many this year and I know that I waited a little too long. I’m still thrilled that we found some, since it’s a tradition for me each year to get pictures of the kids.

Wow, I can’t believe that it’s been a week since I have written anything. Life is so different not having your whole schedule surrounded by hospital stays and clinic visits. I have been surprised to learn how easy it is to fill up the free time. Savannah has really enjoyed being at home and has enjoyed spending time with her friends. It is so good to see her life resume back to some normalcy. Payton is doing great. Every week I see some improvement in him. He is starting to show some signs of wanting to be potty trained. It has been really frustrating, since before all this occurred we almost had him potty trained. It’s our goal to accomplish this by the summer. Payton’s eye lashes are really coming in now and his eye brows and hair show signs of stubble. I can hardly wait to see him with hair again and wonder what he will look like. I am anxious to have his hair come back and yet will really miss his soft little bald head. Something that I never thought I would get used to. Payton is busy as ever playing with all of his toys. As much as you try to go on with life and have some normalcy there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and all that our family has gone through. Every time I dress him, his battle scar is a constant reminder of the past year. I am so grateful for everyday that I have him and get to be with him. I really think that through all this, it’s made me realize how short life can be. I have had the hardest time getting mad at Payton, after all he has endured and after fighting for his life this past year, I don’t even have it in me. Payton and I will always have such a close bond together, especially since I have been by his side nonstop through this; held him when he didn’t even have any energy to walk or held him when he had thrown up so much that he didn’t want to move, I wouldn’t want it any other way and I am thankful that I was able to be there. Payton will be back to the clinic on Friday to have his port flushed and then the next CT scan is lined up for June 11th. Of course we are scared, but hopeful.

Chad’s parents flew in from Idaho Falls on Thursday to spend some time with the kids. Chad’s dad hasn’t seen Payton in just over a year. The kids love having their grandparents around. Friday we went out to Grapevine Mills Mall and I got some great deals for Savannah for school clothes for next fall at the Children’s Place and also some great clothes for Payton. I just love that store and love their great prices. I love to shop and even love it more when I can get such great deals. Today, I had to work, so Chad took the kids and his parents to the Dallas Aquarium. We are planning on going to Fossil Rim on Monday and then they will fly back out on Tuesday. It’s been great having family come in as we don’t get to see them very often. I am hoping that the Bluebonnets are still out, since I have still not got pictures yet. That is so not like me. Hope that everyone is having a good weekend, love you all.

Relay for Life

We took Payton to the Relay for Life last night. What a neat experience it was as I held Payton’s little hand and I couldn’t help but get all choked up. As we were walking around the survivor lap, he smiled as everyone clapped for him and all the other survivors; I felt such happiness, appreciation to have him alive and such joy to be holding him. He is such a sweet little boy and I am so thankful everyday for him and for two great kids. We ran into one of Payton’s radiation nurses Linda and she was so glad to see Payton and to see him doing so well. I am so amazed at the nurses and what great people they are and at their unconditional love and concern for these kids that they have come in contact with. Even on their time off they are there supporting and attending these events. That is truly the kind of person that I want to be; what Christ like people they are. We also ran into Julian’s parents, the little boy that passed away in January from a brain tumor. They had set up a booth in his memory and it was so neat to see them there and their continued desire to raise money and bring awareness for cancer. What great people they are and what an inspiration they are to me. It was great to go and yet sad as well as it brings back emotionally tough memories. It was great to talk with these people that have gone through some of the same trials, concerns and worries that we have gone through. We were talking with some of the other families, about how we have all heard the comment "I bet you are so glad this is finally over". Yes, we are glad, but it’s different; there is a constant worry of relapse that we will always have and somehow we have to find a new outlook on life. I don’t know that our worry will ever be totally over. Even if we beat this, there will always be the concern of side effect that this chemo, radiation and CT scans will have on these kids. I have realized that is my test of faith. It was great to be around people that have been through this and understand what it is like. It was great to see some of the people that have touched our lives in so many ways.

Payton is getting stronger every day. I am so glad to see that he is starting to put on some weight. I love that he is starting to get his chubby cheeks back so that I can kiss on them. I love that he is starting to regain some of his energy and getting to see his personality come alive again. He had so much fun being his playful, silly self. How can you not have so much fullness and love in your heart for a little boy that has endured so much? He is my inspiration and is everything to me. It has really made me have a different outlook on life to why we are here, what’s really most important and what kind of person I want to be.


Payton with Nurse Linda

We arrived to our cabin and to our surprise there was still a lot of snow. Payton loves being here and is enjoying playing. Two of my brothers and both sisters came up as well. We are enjoying spending time together. We decided to go on a walk this morning and it was an absolutely beautiful walk to see the mountains and snow. Kind of weird to think that it is into April and there is still this much snow here. I love the snow, but only for a few days. I know I would get tired of it really soon. The scenery up here is absolutely beautiful and it’s a great way to spend a few days from your crazy life. Wish we could be here longer.