Having fun in the Summertime!

The kids thoroughly love every moment that we get to spend at home. We have been getting out the swimming pools and enjoying the start of summer. Payton’s a little scary and has to be watched closely, since he doesn’t have much fear of the water. What treasured moments it is being able to spend time with the kids. I’ve learned to not stress and just to stop, slow down and enjoy the moment that you are in.

Payton’s CT scan is next Wednesday. I am optimistic, but will feel much better when it is over and everything is ok.

Savannah’s excited to be out of school on Tuesday. It’s weird to think that last year at this time we were looking forward to being out for summer with fun plans until all this occurred.

A fun day swimming!

Today with it being ½ day of school for the kids we decided to take the kids swimming since it was especially humid today. The kids had a great time and it was fun to watch Payton smile with excitement since he just loves the water. It was a little cold, but it didn’t stop us from having fun. It was great to see Payton swim since he didn’t get to last summer. I can’t believe how hot and humid it is already. Swimming is about the only thing that you can do to cool off here in the Texas heat.












Payton with Aunt Kelsey!

Today is the first day that Payton noticed his hair is coming in. We were driving in the car and I could see him in the back rubbing his head. He said, “Mom, my head feels soft.” He continued to rub his head and laugh and said “that’s silly, mom, I have hair.”

My sister Kelsey flew in on Wednesday and the kids were very excited to see her. She is going to stay with us (my sister Jennifer and I) for a couple of weeks and we are so excited she is here. Last night we had a girl’s night out and went to a movie, it was a lot of fun to get out and spend some quality time with Jennifer and Kelsey. It’s nice to have all of us back together again.

Lately Payton is bound and determined that he is Payton, nothing else. For example, if we say to him, you are such a good boy he will reply “I’m not a boy, I’m Payton.” Payton also has a mind of his own. When getting in or out of the car, he has to do everything himself. Payton has to open and close the door and buckle himself. He is very stubborn when he wants to do things himself.

Shower Fun!

Lately Payton has been begging to take a shower. He will say whatever he has to, to convince me that he needs to take one. Today he told me “I have a stinky bum, I need to get in the shower.” He doesn’t have any fear of the water and will stand directly under the shower head and laugh, because he is so excited that I gave in.

Savannah has become really good friends with a little girl Katie that just lives down the street that is also in 1st grade with her. From the minute Savannah gets home from school, she begs to let Katie come over and play. It’s been so great to see Savannah have some fun after this past year. One of Savannah and Katie’s favorite things to do is to jump on the trampoline in their swim suits with the hose. I can’t blame them because of this Texas Heat. A couple of weeks ago, Savannah told me that she was going to Katie’s house to see if she could come over and play. When she arrived back home, she also arrived with 6 kids all of which were in their swim suits. Savannah informed me that we were having a Swim Party today. I told her that next time she decides we are having a swim party; she needs to inform me first.

I am really trying to move on with life and get back to a normal routine. Is it strange that I am struggling still? I fell that this has emotionally drained me. I cry at just the smallest things. How do you recover after going through something like this? How do you find anything normal anymore? I am really trying to pull it together, but it just seems to be taking me a while. The more that I see Payton start to recover and the more that I get to see my little boy back; the more that I hope and pray that we never have to go through this again. I just feel like this is constantly on my mind. I think so much about what this past year has been like and it was honestly HELL, that‘s the best word that I can find to describe it. It was the worst nightmare. It is great to see Payton recovering and returning to his happy self. Payton’s hair is coming in even more and he looks so handsome with his hair, eyebrows and eyelashes.

We are trying to stay busy. I actually had a garage sale last weekend and quite enjoyed it once I went to all the effort of putting it together. I forget how much work it is. It feels great to have de-junked our house. I am actually a bit of a people watcher and enjoyed doing it. It was well worth it since we stayed busy and made a little money.

I can’t believe that the kids are almost out for the summer. All four of us are heading back to Utah/Idaho to visit family the end of June. I am really excited as it will be nice to get away. As hard as it was to head back to work, it has been good for me to have that break. It helps me get away and to forget about my problems and to have some adult interaction. It also makes me excited to come home and see my kids again as well.

Happy Mother's Day!

Today has been a great day. I had to work this morning, but was so excited to come home and be with my kids. They gave me a frame with some pictures of them in the bluebonnets. Payton gets so excited to give gifts he tells me; open up the prize, mom. We also went over to my sisters and had dinner. After we came home Payton and I were sitting outside he said “Look at the Moon, Mom. Can we get on a rocket ship and ride to the moon together.” I thoroughly love and treasure every minute that I get to see and spend time with my kids. Time with them is so precious.

Payton’s hair, eyebrows and eyelashes are still coming in. He is looking so handsome and looks quite a bit different to me. It’s so weird to see him with eyelashes again, his eyes look so dark. And his hair looks as it is coming in brown. It looks as if it just took some time for the effects of the chemo to wear off in order for his hair to come back in. Payton has repeatedly complained of his stomach bothering the past several weeks. Every time he complained Chad and I would look at each other and just hold our breath. Thank goodness he hasn’t complained as much about it recently. Payton’s health is constantly on our minds and there is a constant fear of the rug being pulled from under us again. Hopefully this will get better with time.

Last night as I was giving my kids a bath I was watching them play, and thinking to myself what a wonderful Mother’s Day present this is to be able to watch my kids have so much fun. There is no other place that I would rather be, then sitting here watching them. Just under a year ago I was wondering if we were going to lose Payton. Our one year mark is coming up on June 1st, when Payton was diagnosed. Before this, I was going through life thinking that we were invincible and that Cancer happens to other people, not to me or my family, right? I had tears streaming down my face as I watched my kids and thought about the past year and all I’ve seen my little boy go through and how it affected Savannah as she worried for Payton. What better gift could you ask for than to have 2 wonderful kids? I have prayed everyday for the last year that I will be able to keep Payton. I have pleaded with the Lord to not take my little Payton and told him that I will not be able to carry on life without him. Payton is so special to me and without him in my life; my heart would be forever broken. Before all of this I was one to get really stressed out over little things. Not a day goes by that I don’t look at Payton and thank Heavenly Father that he is with me. And that’s it, NOTHING else matters. I am not going to spend time worrying about the small things in life. Does it take something like this to make us realize what we have? Does it take something like this to make us stop and enjoy the simplest things that sometimes we take for granted? I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to be a Mother. Even though it has come with such hardships and heartache, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank Heavenly Father everyday for your kids and for your loved ones. What would we ever do without them?

I hope that you all have a Wonderful Day. Happy Mother’s Day To: My Mom, Mother-In-Law, Sister, Sister’s-In-Law, and all my Friends. I Love you all.

A fun evening at the park!

I had my sister’s kids on Saturday night, so Chad and I decided to grab a couple pizzas and take the kid’s to the park. The weather has been absolutely incredible this weekend and you have to learn how to enjoy the outdoors when it’s nice here in Texas. The park was so much fun and the kids were excited. Kid’s amaze me how they can find entertainment wherever they go. Payton and Ella found some pink flowers and I was so glad that I had my camera, since they were being so cute.

Payton went back to the Clinic on Friday. I had Chad take him, since my sister and I had planned a day to drive to Canton. Payton’s counts are recovering, but still need to come up a little more. Payton is not due back until June 11th which is for his CT scan. It’s crazy to think that it’s right around the corner; it feels like we were just there. We are enjoying being at home. I was cleaning out my planner yesterday and taking out the 2007 calendar. Yes, I know that I’m a bit slow, but I’ve had a lot on my mind. It was crazy to see Payton’s Surgery Date, CT’s, X-Ray, Clinic appointments, Hospital stays etc. that we had lined up last year. I am so grateful that this is finally over. Chad said that Payton was stressing out on Friday going to the clinic, once he put his cream on his port. Poor kid, I’m sure that he doesn’t know what to expect anymore, but I know that he is glad to be spending more time at home. It was great spending the day with my sister. I don’t do things like that very often and was thrilled to have a day to spend with her without kids.