Payton's Prayer

Payton insisted on saying his prayers by himsef tonight. His prayer consisted of blessing his: dinosaurs, rocket ships, airplanes, trucks, grandpa, grandma and Kelsey. I love the concerns of a 3 yr old. Payton had Savannah laughing since she thought it was funny that he was blessing his toys.

Payton excited about starting preschool

Payton informed us that he was “going to preschool at Miss Becki’s today.” We told him Payton you will go in a couple of weeks and he replies “NO, I’m going today, I have to get my back pack ready.” Payton filled his back pack with toys and headed out the door. We had to convince him to come back into the house by telling him we would make cookies.

Discussion with Savannah

Put Payton down for a nap this afternoon and Savannah decided she had a few questions for me.

Savannah: Will Payton’s cancer ever come back?

Me: I hope not, we are staying optimistic that it won’t.

Savannah: If it does return will he die?

Me: I hope not, but that would mean it was his time to return to live with Heavenly Father.

Savannah: I don’t want Payton to die.

Me: I don’t want Payton to die either, but none of us know when our time to leave this earth is. Only Heavenly Father does.

Savannah: Will I ever get cancer? I’m too old right mom?

Me: None of us know if we will get cancer. You don’t need to worry about it right now.

Savannah: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

It’s funny how we can go weeks without talking about it and she will suddenly come up with questions. Savannah is such a thinker. She is a great big sister to Payton and loves him so much. We have tried really hard to move on with life and to make things just as normal as possible, even though I know this is always in the back of our minds. We all have different concerns in our life, but this is one that I never thought we would have.

Back to the H/O Clinic

We were back at the clinic today. Payton awoke to me putting cream on his port and was not very happy. Unfortunately, he knows what that means. He immediately started saying “no Dr. Bowman today.” He fought me a little but once we got there and once they flushed his port he was able to settle down. Payton’s counts are great and Dr. Bowman says that he looks great as well. We are really lucky that we aren’t seeing any problems or side effects and are keeping our fingers crossed it will continue to stay that way.

There are a couple of guys that volunteer at the hospital by bringing their guitars and singing to the kids. I remember being in the hospital when they came and Payton was able to go and listen to them sing. I remember how excited he was and I remember the tears flowing down my face as I watched these two guys being so kind and concerned for these kids. Well they were there at the clinic today and while we were in our room Payton heard them and immediately recognized their voices. He said “They are making music” I want to go and see. Payton was thrilled to go out and watch them; he loves the shaker they give him and loves to dance. I love how music can be a comforter and can help these kids forget about what they are going through. We were grateful this was a short visit and yet sad to see so many new kids in the clinic. It’s heartbreaking the clinic is always so busy. Payton’s due back on September 5th for his next MRI/CT Scan.

Adjusting to being back home.

It has been quite the adjustment of coming back from vacation and facing the reality of our lives. I dove back into work the following day (less than 12 hrs later) and Chad has had to get back into his school work with the hopes of graduating within the next year. It’s crazy when I think where we might be in our life a year from now. Grad school’s been quite the adventure for our family.

The kids are enjoying being at home. Payton asks the question every day “Can we get on a big airplane and go see Grandpa.” I can tell that he misses everyone and spends a lot of time talking about how much fun he had. We spent the week going swimming, to the movie “Horton hears a who”, and cooking hotdogs and smores in our fire pit. It has been miserably hot here. I believe that I heard we are in level Orange ozone today. Chad has been at school a lot this week so I have had the chance to bond with the kids. Our lives are so crazy there isn’t a single day during the week that we are all home together. Chad is gone Monday through Friday and I currently work Saturday and Sunday. That’s why this vacation was so nice. I will be ready for that part of our crazy life to end someday soon. In the meantime I will make the best of it.

I know that I have said this a hundred times over but I thoroughly love watching Payton play with his toys and being a little boy. Every morning I awake I wake up to purring. Payton pretends like he is a kitty daily and when I say “How’s my little kitty this morning,” he grins.

Cancer is always in the back of my head so I think that it makes me more patient and understanding than I normally would be if this hadn’t occurred. The past year is thought about often and I try not to stress out about how clean the house is and just live in the moment. I have a picture of our little buddy Julian on our fridge, the little boy that we knew that passed away from a brain tumor in January. I look at that picture every time I am frustrated and I soon forget about my problems. Julian and his family are thought of often and are such an inspiration to me.

Payton is due back at the clinic a week from today to have his port flushed and to line up his CT scan for September. I am amazed at how quickly these appointments come around and yet I will take this any day over what happened the past year.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

A nice article written up about Payton's Senior Oncologist Dr. Bowman. The guy whom we respect, love and owe everything to.

W. Paul Bowman, M.D., continues legacy as pediatric hematologist/oncologist

As a fourth year medical student, W. Paul Bowman, M.D., saw a little girl with leukemia. He was inspired by how his mentoring physician treated the little girl. That experience began an interest in treating children with cancer that continues to this day.



In addition to his current role as senior pediatric hematologist/oncologist and chairman of Cook Children’s Leukemia & Lymphoma program, Dr. Bowman has been named medical director of academic pediatrics for Cook Children’s Medical Center.



Dr. Bowman now hopes to be the inspiration for young physicians as he becomes their mentor. He has been named department chair of pediatrics for the University of North Texas Health Science Center and the Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine (TCOM).



“A leadership program needs to have a strong educational component to it,” Dr. Bowman said. “That involves educating yourself, your staff, your referring physicians – those with whom you work with in the community. I also really think it is important to have a commitment to the education of young physicians. We have students from TCOM rotate with us. That’s really an exciting thing to have young, up-and-coming doctors working with us. It is exciting for me to extend that relationship as department chair of pediatrics for the University of North Texas Health Science Center and the Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine.”



The new appointments tie together the teaching and research capabilities of the Health Science Center with the renowned patient care of Cook Children’s Medical Center and its clinic network to bring cutting-edge research and care to Tarrant County’s pediatric patients.



Under Dr. Bowman’s guidance, TCOM student physicians can take advantage of the knowledge of Cook Children’s physicians when they serve as faculty instructors and oversee the student interns.



Bowman, a native of Winnipeg, Canada, graduated from the University of Manitoba as class valedictorian before becoming a fellow in pediatric hematology-oncology at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn. In 1982, he came to what is now known as Cook Children’s as co-director of the Hematology and Oncology department and has made Fort Worth his home.



He has served on numerous boards and committees in Tarrant County including the American Cancer Society, American Society of Clinical Oncology and the Legislative Task Force on Cancer in Texas.



Dr. Bowman won the Distinguished Physician Award in 2003. The award is symbolized by the Cook Children's Physician Network Gold Headed Cane and given to the outstanding Cook Children's Physician Network physician who exemplifies excellent clinical skills, compassion for patients and families, and a deep commitment to working together for children.



The Cook Children's Physician Network Distinguished Award is given annually and alternates between a primary care physician and a specialty care physician. Dr. Bowman was the first specialty physician to receive the award, voted on by his peers.

Farwell Everyone!

It’s crazy when I think about where we were just a year ago at this time. Payton was in the hospital for 21 days, trying to recover from a hard round of chemo. I look back now and I’m not quite sure how we ever made it through. I really enjoyed our vacation and enjoyed watching my kids just be kids and enjoyed watching them have fun. I watched Payton and counted my blessing that he was there with us. I really wondered over the past year if we would see the day that he would recover and be able to move on with life as a little boy.

I look at Payton today and hope the best for my little guy. I think about all that he has endured often and I am so grateful to see him recovering. I think about all the potential effects that the chemo and radiation could have on him often. Will we be able to avoid them? Will this ever return? I pray all the time that I will continue to see Payton grow. How do you separate yourself from the life and fear that you have been living? I try so hard to move on and yet it still lives so deep within my heart that all I have to do is think about it and it automatically brings me to tears. I am amazed at the strength that I have been given throughout this. I just don’t know how you could ever get through a crisis like this without the strength of our Heavenly Father. How lucky I am to have such a special little boy? I don’t know what I did to deserve him but he has strengthened me and given me the courage that I need to get through life and he will always have a special place in my heart.

I cannot believe how handsome my little guy is, Payton looks so great with his hair coming back in. He is so full of energy and I could spend every minute of every day watching him and thoroughly enjoying him for he truly has stolen my heart. He truly amazes me and because of him I am a better person today and always. I did a lot of thinking on this vacation. Family means everything to me and it was so great to see him be with his Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and Cousins whom love him so much. Treasure every moment that you get to see your kids, for we never know what lies ahead. Be patient with them and spend quality time with them for they are only young once.

We made it home from our vacation and we are all feeling a little sad to have to say goodbye. Thank you Parents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins for making our vacation the best! We Love you all!