Off to SouthLake to see Santa!

On Thursday the kids and I went to Southlake Town Square after Savannah got home from school, with my sister Jennifer and her kids to get some pictures in the town center with all the Christmas decorations and to let Payton see Santa. I really wanted to get a Christmas picture. Even though this has been a hard year, it’s one we will never forget and I figured we needed to have some pictures of Payton since he will only be bald once. We figured that since Payton will be going back to the hospital for chemo next week and his counts have been coming up this week, that this was our only chance to get him out and see Santa. The ladies that were coordinating the pictures with Santa were so kind that they let Payton go right to the front so he didn't stay in the toy store with 100's of little kids waiting to see Santa. Payton wasn’t sure about Santa he screamed at first then was ok. He told Santa that he wants “a big prize” for Christmas. It was fun to get out for an afternoon and actually feel like it was Christmas. I love Southlake and their town square it was decorated so cute for Christmas.

More Pictures!

Making Christmas Sugar Cookies!

I decided to dive into sugar cookies, since it is a tradition in my house and I wasn’t sure we would get another chance before Christmas. As I started to ice and decorate the cookies, Payton climbed up to the table and said “I want to help”. At first I wanted to tell him, get down Payton I know that you will make a big mess and being the perfectionist that I can be with my cookies, I wanted them to look perfect. I think that would have been the old me anyway. I decided to let him help and he was so sweet and cute. It was such a great moment with him. I cherish every minute that he feels good and that I get to be with him. Take advantage of the little opportunities and chances that you get to be with your kids. They will only be young once and they will remember the times you spend with them. My little Payton is the sweetest little boy. He makes me so happy and brings so much joy and happiness to me. Payton has been through so much and he is so brave. I am so proud of him for being so strong.

Back to the Clinic!

"Get me out of here, I want to go home"

"No more hugging my arm"







"No more needles"








On Tuesday, I took Payton to the clinic to get his counts checked. Payton fell asleep on the way to the hospital and when he awoke and realized where we were at, he was not happy. He awoke yelling “no doctor, no nurses, no needles today”. He threw a fit while getting his blood pressure and blood drawn. Luckily Payton didn’t need any transfusions and was so happy to be able to go home. Counts still are not high enough to start the next round of chemo. Our oncologist is thinking that he will be ready to start next Tuesday. Hopefully, we can stay out of the hospital over Christmas.

We're finally home!

Enjoying a sonic drink.

Payton was finally released from the hospital. He was so excited he told us and his nurse, take my noodle out (referring to his needle) and put it the garbage, I want to go home. He came home and didn’t want to go to sleep. He was so excited to run around without being hooked up to a pole. We decided to go and feed the fish since that is one of Payton favorite things to do. It was such a beautiful day (70’s) here in Texas. We so much enjoyed getting outdoors with him. I’m sure after being locked up in his room for 10 days straight, if felt pretty good to get out. He has still been a little cross at times today and complains of his bottom hurting, but overall I think that he is starting to feel better. We are thrilled to be done for a few days. Our next round of chemo was supposed to start on Monday, so I’m sure we will be a few days late starting. Payton is due back in the clinic on Tuesday to check his counts. We are really hoping that we can be out for Christmas. Only 3 more big rounds to go. We are ready to be done and are so proud of Payton for being so brave.

On a not so good note; our little friend Julian went in for his MRI on Thursday and found out that his cancer has returned and spread to his brain as well as spinal fluid. He is in the hospital on high pain med’s. Our hearts go out to him and his little family.

Day 9 and still in the hospital!

Payton had a better day today. Our infectious disease doctor seemed to think that Payton is starting to improve. Counts were up a little and were hoping to get out of here in a few days. ANC needs to be between 500–1,000. We are at 120.

I don’t know why, but I have just been feeling really down and have had a crappy few days. I don’t know if it’s because Christmas is coming and we have no sort of life, or that I really miss my family that’s away, or that I’m sad to see Payton in the hospital so much, or that I am worried if his cancer does ever return, or that I feel really sorry for Savannah that she has no life outside of school or the hospital, or that I am so worried about Julian and his little family and how their MRI went today or if it's just a combination of everything. My worries are so much different than they were a year ago at this time. I feel like some times we go through life too fast and don’t stop to look at what’s really important. I ran across this poem written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital. This young girl passed away just after she wrote it.

SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music Before the song is over.

I know that I will never be the same person that I was before all this happened with Payton. I just don’t see things the same way that I did before. I will cherish every moment that I get to be with my kids. I love them both so much!

Ella and aunt Jenn came to visit me today!

We were so excited to get a visit from Ella and Aunt Jenn today. They brought us lunch and slurpies (payton's favorite). Payton and Ella enjoyed blowing bubbles in their slurpies. They also brought some surprises for Payton. He has enjoyed some new toys to play with.