Thank You!

We have had a lot of fun at home this past week. I hate to make Payton go back to the hospital tomorrow. Hopefully, his counts will be high enough to start another round of chemo. We are ready to get this over. This round is only a 2 day hospital admission, so we should be able to go back home on Wednesday if all goes well. We are really hoping that we can stay out of the hospital over Christmas. It would be nice if the kids could have some sort of normalcy for the holidays.

I have struggled so much wondering if Payton’s cancer will ever return. Will he go on with life living life as a healthy child? Will he end up with any long term side effects that we will have to face from this nasty chemo and radiation? I’ve never been faced with something that I have felt so helpless with little control over. I know that all things are in the Lord’s hands and time and whatever happens is His plan. It still doesn’t make it easy at times. I don’t know what I would ever do without my little Payton and I don’t ever want to know what that would feel like. There are never any guarantees in life, but all this has made me do a lot of thinking. I love Payton so much and feel so blessed to have him as my son. I often think about why this happened to Payton? Why did this happen to my family? Why did Payton have to have cancer, surgery, get sick, be poked and deal with challenges that he faces? It just doesn’t seem fair that a 2 year old should have to endure so much. Is this his challenge? Is it my challenge? Did he accept this challenge in the pre-life? What are we supposed to learn from this? I know that the Lord has said that he will never give us more than we can handle. I have definitely questioned this over the past 7 months and I will definitely have a lot of questions to ask some day. I think that sometimes we go through life too quickly not realizing what is most important. I know that I did before all this happened. We have to stop and think about why we are here and what we are supposed to accomplish while we are here.

One thing that I do know is that we were meant to be in Texas during this time. I know that we were meant to be close to my sister whom gives me strength, faith and courage. I have been so lucky to have such a wonderful boss that has helped us financially get through this. We have been so lucky to be close to a children’s hospital. We have been so blessed to be in the ward that we are in and to have the friends that we have. I believe that we were meant to be here to have the friends that we have to help us get through this challenge. It would have been extremely hard to get through this without the support we have had. I just wanted to say how grateful I am to all of my church ward members, friends and family. We have been so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Thanks to all of you for the gift cards, cookies, meals, visits, and other anonymous packages. You have all been so kind and we really appreciate your generosity. It has been a crazy 7 months and it’s nice to know that we have such an awesome support team. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

It's great to be home!

I wanted to say thank you to all of our friends and family who have helped us get this far. I have appreciated so much my church ward bringing in meals at different times. There have been some days where Payton has not felt well and just wanted to be held the whole day. On those days, it was nice not to have to worry about cooking. We also appreciate everyone’s kindness, especially this last week. We have had cookies brought by, carolers, and gifts anonymously placed on our doorstep. Payton has been through so much and it’s been so nice to see him get so excited. Thank you to all that have been so kind. I feel so blessed to have such great friends. I appreciate all of you so much.

Off to SouthLake to see Santa!

On Thursday the kids and I went to Southlake Town Square after Savannah got home from school, with my sister Jennifer and her kids to get some pictures in the town center with all the Christmas decorations and to let Payton see Santa. I really wanted to get a Christmas picture. Even though this has been a hard year, it’s one we will never forget and I figured we needed to have some pictures of Payton since he will only be bald once. We figured that since Payton will be going back to the hospital for chemo next week and his counts have been coming up this week, that this was our only chance to get him out and see Santa. The ladies that were coordinating the pictures with Santa were so kind that they let Payton go right to the front so he didn't stay in the toy store with 100's of little kids waiting to see Santa. Payton wasn’t sure about Santa he screamed at first then was ok. He told Santa that he wants “a big prize” for Christmas. It was fun to get out for an afternoon and actually feel like it was Christmas. I love Southlake and their town square it was decorated so cute for Christmas.

More Pictures!

Making Christmas Sugar Cookies!

I decided to dive into sugar cookies, since it is a tradition in my house and I wasn’t sure we would get another chance before Christmas. As I started to ice and decorate the cookies, Payton climbed up to the table and said “I want to help”. At first I wanted to tell him, get down Payton I know that you will make a big mess and being the perfectionist that I can be with my cookies, I wanted them to look perfect. I think that would have been the old me anyway. I decided to let him help and he was so sweet and cute. It was such a great moment with him. I cherish every minute that he feels good and that I get to be with him. Take advantage of the little opportunities and chances that you get to be with your kids. They will only be young once and they will remember the times you spend with them. My little Payton is the sweetest little boy. He makes me so happy and brings so much joy and happiness to me. Payton has been through so much and he is so brave. I am so proud of him for being so strong.

Back to the Clinic!

"Get me out of here, I want to go home"

"No more hugging my arm"







"No more needles"








On Tuesday, I took Payton to the clinic to get his counts checked. Payton fell asleep on the way to the hospital and when he awoke and realized where we were at, he was not happy. He awoke yelling “no doctor, no nurses, no needles today”. He threw a fit while getting his blood pressure and blood drawn. Luckily Payton didn’t need any transfusions and was so happy to be able to go home. Counts still are not high enough to start the next round of chemo. Our oncologist is thinking that he will be ready to start next Tuesday. Hopefully, we can stay out of the hospital over Christmas.

We're finally home!

Enjoying a sonic drink.

Payton was finally released from the hospital. He was so excited he told us and his nurse, take my noodle out (referring to his needle) and put it the garbage, I want to go home. He came home and didn’t want to go to sleep. He was so excited to run around without being hooked up to a pole. We decided to go and feed the fish since that is one of Payton favorite things to do. It was such a beautiful day (70’s) here in Texas. We so much enjoyed getting outdoors with him. I’m sure after being locked up in his room for 10 days straight, if felt pretty good to get out. He has still been a little cross at times today and complains of his bottom hurting, but overall I think that he is starting to feel better. We are thrilled to be done for a few days. Our next round of chemo was supposed to start on Monday, so I’m sure we will be a few days late starting. Payton is due back in the clinic on Tuesday to check his counts. We are really hoping that we can be out for Christmas. Only 3 more big rounds to go. We are ready to be done and are so proud of Payton for being so brave.

On a not so good note; our little friend Julian went in for his MRI on Thursday and found out that his cancer has returned and spread to his brain as well as spinal fluid. He is in the hospital on high pain med’s. Our hearts go out to him and his little family.