Showing posts with label Payton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Payton. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Fun days playing in the rain…
I was trying to fix dinner on Tuesday night and my kids insisted on playing outdoors. As soon as we went outside it started to downpour. It stopped Savannah from wanting to be outside so she sat inside the garage with me, but it didn’t stop Payton he saw the neighbor kids playing in the rain and insisted on joining in on the fun. The kids had a blast; I couldn’t help but get my camera and take a few pictures.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Are you my friend?
I watched my niece Ella today since my sister worked last night. Payton and Ella walked around saying to each other “Are you my friend?” and the other would say “yea.” As sweet as they both are they are very mischievous when together. As I was getting ready to take them to the park, I heard them talking upstairs about “yummy hotdogs.” I darted upstairs to find them both eating raw hotdogs from the fridge. I can’t imagine why they would want a raw hotdog, since I had tried all morning to get them to eat breakfast and they insisted they weren’t hungry. I decided to run through Burger King and get some red Icees and chicken nuggets to take to the park. I don’t know what I was thinking with the red Icees, but as I pulled up to the park Ella got so excited that she threw her drink down. As I started to clean it up I look over and Payton had thrown his as well. Glad to see that Payton is a very typical 2 yr old. You think I’d learn my lesson with the red drinks. After I cleaned up, we spent about an hour and a half at the park. The kids had a great time playing with each other. After we arrived home both kids jumped up on my bed and starting wrestling with each other. It was great to see Payton so excited to have somebody to play with.
Friday, March 7, 2008
My brave little boy
Payton one day I’ll have a story to tell you, since you are too young to understand, to know. It’s about a brave little boy I know. A brave little boy, that had a nephrectomy and a port surgically placed into his chest (twice). It’s about a brave little boy that went through radiation and chemotherapy that slowly took his identity away. It’s about a brave little boy that spent extended time in the hospital, hooked up to a pole. This is about a brave little boy that spent his 2nd year of life fighting a horrible battle. That brave little boy, Payton, is you. You fought cancer, my little one. We fought this together and I am so proud of you. Because of your braveness, you made me strong when I was weak. Payton I hope that one day you can look back and know that through all this you were so brave, and because of this, you will be able to derive the strength to overcome anything that you might be faced with in your life. What courage you have shown your family, my brave little boy. We are so proud of you. Payton you have such a special place in our hearts and I hope that you will always know, how much we love you and how much you mean to us, my brave little boy. You have taught and shown me by example how to be a better, stronger person and how we should act in our lives. Little guy, you are my hero, thank you for being so brave and for teaching what I need to know.
This is the long hallway that we used to have to walk when we’d have appointments. Sometimes we’d pace this hallway back and forth when we were anxious or when you were sick while we waited. Sometime we’d eat breakfast or lunch there, if they were slow and you were starving. Sometimes when you were feeling good, we’d race down the hall or I’d even give you piggyback rides, until I was too tired. If this hallway could speak it would have a story to tell.
Here is the waiting room that we would sit in, sometimes for hours. I’ll never forget being in this room after your first ultra sound and waiting for a consultation with Dr. Bowman whom would be your oncologist. A lot of hours and tears were shed in this room; while I would watch you play.
Here was the desk that we’d check-in and out of. All the ladies that sat here, were so sympathetic and could tell when you weren’t feeling well, they would come and give you a hug. When you were done with your procedures for the day, you would blow them kisses.
Here is the room that we would sit in for hours. The room, which you had your port accessed in, and where you received nasty chemo and transfusions. This is the room that you would tell the nurses and doctors to go to the "naughty spot" and scream for them not to hug your leg. This is the room that you would play in when you were feeling good or that I would hold you and rock you to sleep when you were sick. Oh, my brave little boy, how I love you so.
This is the long hallway that we used to have to walk when we’d have appointments. Sometimes we’d pace this hallway back and forth when we were anxious or when you were sick while we waited. Sometime we’d eat breakfast or lunch there, if they were slow and you were starving. Sometimes when you were feeling good, we’d race down the hall or I’d even give you piggyback rides, until I was too tired. If this hallway could speak it would have a story to tell.
Here is the waiting room that we would sit in, sometimes for hours. I’ll never forget being in this room after your first ultra sound and waiting for a consultation with Dr. Bowman whom would be your oncologist. A lot of hours and tears were shed in this room; while I would watch you play.
Here was the desk that we’d check-in and out of. All the ladies that sat here, were so sympathetic and could tell when you weren’t feeling well, they would come and give you a hug. When you were done with your procedures for the day, you would blow them kisses.
Here is the room that we would sit in for hours. The room, which you had your port accessed in, and where you received nasty chemo and transfusions. This is the room that you would tell the nurses and doctors to go to the "naughty spot" and scream for them not to hug your leg. This is the room that you would play in when you were feeling good or that I would hold you and rock you to sleep when you were sick. Oh, my brave little boy, how I love you so.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Another great day at home!
We are so glad to be at home. Hopefully we will no longer have to sleep on a hard plastic twin sized bed or have to change our clothes, comb our hair, eat our food with the possibility of an audience of doctors, nurses or cleaning crew. It is really a good feeling.
Payton is really doing well considering. He is still complaining of his bottom hurting. Chad and I have joked that some days it looks as if we are the ones that have just had chemo and not Payton. We are counting down the days until Payton’s GCSF shots and meds are over. He really hates them and I know that Chad hates giving the shots as well.
Today is a beautiful day here in Texas. I am feeling such excitement that spring is on the way and we are almost through and can enjoy some time outdoors and at the parks without the fear of Payton getting sick. It’s crazy to think that in a couple weeks our life could resume to some normalcy.
Payton is still sleeping in our bed and we walked Savannah up to bed and Payton told Savannah “sweet dreams, Sissy.” And then he said “I have a nice room”, of course referring the room that he never sleeps in.
Payton is really doing well considering. He is still complaining of his bottom hurting. Chad and I have joked that some days it looks as if we are the ones that have just had chemo and not Payton. We are counting down the days until Payton’s GCSF shots and meds are over. He really hates them and I know that Chad hates giving the shots as well.
Today is a beautiful day here in Texas. I am feeling such excitement that spring is on the way and we are almost through and can enjoy some time outdoors and at the parks without the fear of Payton getting sick. It’s crazy to think that in a couple weeks our life could resume to some normalcy.
Payton is still sleeping in our bed and we walked Savannah up to bed and Payton told Savannah “sweet dreams, Sissy.” And then he said “I have a nice room”, of course referring the room that he never sleeps in.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Day 3 and finally going home!
Day 3 and getting ready to go home. I am so excited and yet so scared as well as we finish with this final round of chemo. We have done everything possible and now it is in the Lord’s hands. I have complete faith and yet this is my son and I am still really scared. I have called this our home away from home and it has been. In the evenings when most families talk to one another over dinner or visit with neighbors while grabbing the mail, we have done the same thing but we have done this on the 3rd H/O floor with our nurses, child life specialists, cooks, and security guards. These people have become more than just people providing a service to us and so the idea of not seeing them again and the idea that this routine we’ve come to know is over is strange simply put-wonderful and exciting but strange. How do you begin to thank all the wonderful people that have been placed in our lives?
I also ran across this and the name sounded familiar. (http://www.childrensmemorial.org/depts/pathology/wilms.aspx) After looking at Payton’s pathology report, Irealized that this is the second pathologist that re-staged and changed the histology of Payton’s tumor. You can’t tell me that this is coincidental. It’s made me stop and realize that the Lord's hand was involved. It was interesting to see a face to go with the name. This last treatment was tough and still not over, butI don’t need to go on about how hard it was, to watchPayton be tied to his room and how painful it was to watch Payton be poked because you all know all that, I’ve written about it in detail before. It’s going to be weird walking away from here. The people we have come to know I will never forget, they will forever be in my heart and in my mind. They were our family for a year and I have found such great strength and have such love for each of them. I am excited to leave and yet really sad as well since I have grown to love each and every one of these kids so much, how can you not? They have taught me so much, more than they will ever know. They have shown such courage in their struggles and I have learned so much from each and every one of them. They have shown me by example how we should act in our lives and I will walk away today standing a little taller, a little braver, with so much love in my heart thanks to all of them. I pray that our Heavenly Father will watch over them and their families, for they are the bravest and most courageous souls. Please keep all these kids and their families in your prayers, I love them so much.
Only time will reveal the truth of the side effects in Payton’s treatments and I understand my part in this. I only hope that we don’t have to deal with hearing loss, heart damage, infertility, kidney problems etc. I’m prepared to be labeled an overcautious mom. What I know for sure is that it doesn’t matter what side effects might come up later, for now he’s alive and home. We will leave that in the Lord’s hands as well.
We are looking forward to Payton getting his hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back and to get our little boy back. Most heartfelt thanks to everyone that helped us through this. It means the world to know we have the support of good people. We couldn’t have done it without you.
Payton made it home and is happy to be at home. Payton has come so far in his vocabulary and being able to communicate to us. When he was leaving the hospital, he told his nurse “put my noodle in the garbage” and then said “bye, bye room. Bye, bye, nurse. See you later.” When he arrived home he said “Mom, Baby’s tummy is hurting.” It made me wonder how many times he has felt this way and hasn’t been able to communicate it to us. Payton was crying this afternoon and I said, no more crying he replied by saying “but I want to.” I know that I’ve said this a hundred times over, but Payton you are the bravest little soul. I love you more than words can say. I am so proud of you and am so blessed to be your mom. It’s almost over little guy, Hang in there!
"More CoCo Puffs, please"
"More Popums, please"
Me, Dr. Heym & my nurse Amber.
"Get my noodle out and put it in the garbage."
"Hurry up with those discharge papers"
"And get me out of here"
I also ran across this and the name sounded familiar. (http://www.childrensmemorial.org/depts/pathology/wilms.aspx) After looking at Payton’s pathology report, Irealized that this is the second pathologist that re-staged and changed the histology of Payton’s tumor. You can’t tell me that this is coincidental. It’s made me stop and realize that the Lord's hand was involved. It was interesting to see a face to go with the name. This last treatment was tough and still not over, butI don’t need to go on about how hard it was, to watchPayton be tied to his room and how painful it was to watch Payton be poked because you all know all that, I’ve written about it in detail before. It’s going to be weird walking away from here. The people we have come to know I will never forget, they will forever be in my heart and in my mind. They were our family for a year and I have found such great strength and have such love for each of them. I am excited to leave and yet really sad as well since I have grown to love each and every one of these kids so much, how can you not? They have taught me so much, more than they will ever know. They have shown such courage in their struggles and I have learned so much from each and every one of them. They have shown me by example how we should act in our lives and I will walk away today standing a little taller, a little braver, with so much love in my heart thanks to all of them. I pray that our Heavenly Father will watch over them and their families, for they are the bravest and most courageous souls. Please keep all these kids and their families in your prayers, I love them so much.
Only time will reveal the truth of the side effects in Payton’s treatments and I understand my part in this. I only hope that we don’t have to deal with hearing loss, heart damage, infertility, kidney problems etc. I’m prepared to be labeled an overcautious mom. What I know for sure is that it doesn’t matter what side effects might come up later, for now he’s alive and home. We will leave that in the Lord’s hands as well.
We are looking forward to Payton getting his hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back and to get our little boy back. Most heartfelt thanks to everyone that helped us through this. It means the world to know we have the support of good people. We couldn’t have done it without you.
Payton made it home and is happy to be at home. Payton has come so far in his vocabulary and being able to communicate to us. When he was leaving the hospital, he told his nurse “put my noodle in the garbage” and then said “bye, bye room. Bye, bye, nurse. See you later.” When he arrived home he said “Mom, Baby’s tummy is hurting.” It made me wonder how many times he has felt this way and hasn’t been able to communicate it to us. Payton was crying this afternoon and I said, no more crying he replied by saying “but I want to.” I know that I’ve said this a hundred times over, but Payton you are the bravest little soul. I love you more than words can say. I am so proud of you and am so blessed to be your mom. It’s almost over little guy, Hang in there!
"More CoCo Puffs, please"
"More Popums, please"
Me, Dr. Heym & my nurse Amber.
"Giving
my
noodle
a
drink."
"Get my noodle out and put it in the garbage."
"Hurry up with those discharge papers"
"And get me out of here"
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Day 2 in the hospital!
They didn’t get Payton’s chemo started until 3:00 a.m. this morning, so Dr. Heym said that we will need to stay another night. It’s hard to believe that Payton will be done with his large chemo rounds tonight and this is our last hospital stay unless he gets sick.
Payton awoke really cross this morning, with really puffy and sunk in eyes. He has gotten better as the day goes on, but is still pretty irritable. Payton’s face looks pretty sore today and he has a big fat lip. Another day though, I decided to let Chad stay last night and go home and get some sleep since I had a really bad migraine. Ten hours of sleep and I feel like a new person. I don’t remember the last time I got that much sleep. We should get out first thing tomorrow morning and we will be thrilled to be back home.
Here are some pictures of a couple of Payton’s favorite nurses; Amanda and Victoria.
Payton awoke really cross this morning, with really puffy and sunk in eyes. He has gotten better as the day goes on, but is still pretty irritable. Payton’s face looks pretty sore today and he has a big fat lip. Another day though, I decided to let Chad stay last night and go home and get some sleep since I had a really bad migraine. Ten hours of sleep and I feel like a new person. I don’t remember the last time I got that much sleep. We should get out first thing tomorrow morning and we will be thrilled to be back home.
Here are some pictures of a couple of Payton’s favorite nurses; Amanda and Victoria.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Back to the hospital to finish our final round!
I’m warning you to read this at your own risk. Have you ever had a really bad day? One that you just wanted to hit or kick something to get all of your frustrations out? We’ll I had one of those days. And I actually needed to take my frustrations out on something; I was outside and saw my fountain drink and decided to kick it as hard as I could, it actually felt really good. The hospital had just called and informed me to bring Payton back to the hospital within an hour. I was outside playing with Payton while he was watching all the neighbor kids play outdoors. I informed him that we had to get in the car and leave. Payton started to scream and fight me and told me he wanted to stay home and play. As I was trying to get Payton’s jacket on him, he continued fighting me and went to run off and did a head dive into the pavement of the driveway. Payton’s face and mouth started bleeding and he started to scream. I cleaned him up as best as I could while he screamed how bad it was hurting him. We decided we better get headed since we were running late. Payton was crying in the back, the most heart wrenching cry that he wanted to go home. I started asking the Lord; why on earth would you do this to this little boy? Why are all these little kids outside and able to play and he has to go to the hospital and get poked and have nasty chemo put into his little body. Why, why did this happen to my baby? I cried the whole way here and knew that I had to let it out. Maybe I have been keeping it in a little too long. When we arrived to the hospital the nurses must have noticed my red face from crying, because they all smiled and greeted me. It’s amazing the people that we have met here and the great nurses that have been placed into our lives. They all immediately made me feel better. So here we are back again. We will probably get out pretty late tomorrow since they have to hydrate him for several hours before starting chemo. I am so glad this is our last round. I’m honestly not sure how much more I and my family can take. Payton is doing well considering, his face looks pretty beat up and he has a nice fat lip. Sorry for the drama, I just needed to let my frustrations out.
Back to the clinic!
Back to the clinic today to check counts. Payton’s counts were fine and he is ready to start his final round of chemo. Although, the hospital has no beds, I guess the H/O floor has a lot of sick kids with the flu. For now they have sent us home and they will call us once a bed becomes available. They said it could be tonight or even tomorrow. Payton is sleeping away, he is exhausted. I’m enjoying a moment of silence for now. Will keep you posted to when we are back and at it. They lined up Payton’s next two rounds of outpatient chemo and then lined up his CT scan which will be three weeks from today. I can hardly believe we are lining this up and finally at the end. It just doesn’t seem real. I am so ready to get life back to some sort of normalcy.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A visit from Uncle Jared!
Payton’s uncle Jared (Chad’s brother) was in Oklahoma City for business and drove down to see us for the evening. We ordered take out from Cousin’s BBQ and had a great time visiting. This is the first time that Jared has seen Payton since undergoing his treatment and Payton was thrilled to see him. We wish that we could see family more often. Thanks Jared and Carrie for the presents. Thanks Jared for coming to visit, it was great to see you.
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