Payton with Nurse Victoria
Payton was so brave getting his blood drawn
It has been an extremely long week of testing and waiting for Payton’s results. Payton had his Echo/ EKG and Scans on Monday. I keep hoping that this will get easier and the anxiety will go away, but it just doesn’t. The day went so much smoother not having to sedate Payton. The Sonogram and Chest X-ray felt like nothing compared to the lengthy MRI and CT scan that we usually have to do. I have to admit that I have stressed a bit about Payton’s Echo/EKG this week. This is the testing that is done to check his heart, to make sure that the chemo has not caused any damage. This testing usually has taken 15 to 20 minutes in the past and been quick and easy. The tech took over an hour and I thought that I was going to have a full blown anxiety attack while watching her. I kept wondering why she was taking so long and what if something was wrong. It really stressed me right out. I think that we have done this all so much routinely, that we know what to expect and if the testing takes longer then we expect we start wondering if something is not normal. It was a long week waiting to hear and I was just as worried about the results of the Echo/EKG as I was the scans.
FINALLY, we got our results and everything looks great. I found out that the tech was given instructions to also look for tumors around his heart and throat area and that is why it took as long as it did. Too bad I didn’t know that prior and I could have saved myself some serious worrying. It was such a great appointment on Friday in the H/O clinic. We saw many people that we love and appreciate for taking care of Payton during his chemo days. We got to see a friend Victoria that used to be one of our very favorite nurses on the 3rd H/O floor of the hospital. She has since moved to the clinic. I got all teary as it brought back tons of memories of our hospital stays. Victoria was always so sweet to Payton and used to sit on the floor with him and play. She was so excited to see Payton and how much he has changed in 2 ½ years. We also saw Dr. Heym, one of our favorite Oncology Doctors. All of these people have played such an important part of our lives. Last but not least we got to see Dr. Bowman. It is always so good to see him and hear his outlook on things. Dr. Bowman is so pleased to see another clean scan. He is staying optimistic that Payton will keep doing well. Dr. Bowman also said that we can finally start spreading our scans apart every 6 months now. Great news! Every three months comes way too often.
On Friday we met with Ms. Lisa whom works with the Life after Cancer patients at Cook’s. She has taken all of Payton’s records including his chemo dosages, hospital stays, radiation dosages, medicines, transfusions, etc. etc. and put them all in a book. She talked about the importance of Payton eating good foods and getting enough exercise to keep his heart strong. What a great idea to have it all together so that Payton will always have that information if and when he needs it. She talked about how Payton will always need to be seen and tested once a year for the rest of his life. She discussed all of the side effects that could possibly occur from Payton’s treatment. We have heard this all before, but it was a bit hard to hear it all again. I think sometimes you place it in a box in the back of your head so that you don’t have to think about it. We know of the risks, side effects and statistics regarding the high doses of chemo and radiation that Payton received. We know all this and yet I know that these statistics are nothing, because Payton’s life is in Heavenly Father’s hands. It is such a blessing and comfort to have this knowledge. There are times that it has taken a huge leap of faith and I have learned how little control we have over life and situations that occur. I have always been one that has wanted control over everything in my life and have realized the last few years, how little control we really have. Payton at the age of 5 has shown me how to have faith and how to live life to the fullest. I am extremely grateful for fabulous news. I take none of these clean scans for granted and thank Heavenly Father for every clean scan I see. I am grateful that I have two wonderful kids in my life; being a mom is the greatest gift in the world.
